What I Gave Myself: Affirming Purpose & Gratitude
The assumption is with age comes wisdom, this is not always the case.
The hope is with age comes a profound knowledge of self, life insights and purpose. A discarding of the need of approval of others. The need to
compromise self by “biting of the tongue.” Silencing your true self fearing rejection, isolation, losing relationships or disturbing a compromised peace. A compromised peace that leaves your stomach churning and head feeling
as though it’s splitting in two. Feelings of being manipulated and bullied. You watch yourself slowly disappearing, until you no longer recognize the person you once were. You have turned over your power and the bullies and group have won.
The teen years are often filled with the desire to be a member of the cool group. Rejecting your true values for the cowardice of others and group speak. Of course this is not the case with all teens. I have met many a teen who can teach adults a lesson in maturity. Transparency. When I was a teen
there were times I wanted to belong to the group. Fortunately the values my
parents, family, community and teachers instilled in me were more powerful
than the teen group I thought I wanted to belong to.
Sadly this mindset spills over to the adult years. In my early adult years I
I was a part of a performance group. I thought attending the so-called cool parties and associations with household names was evidence of having made it, it was not. I found myself drowning in the midst of sad, empty and lonely people. I started to question myself. Why am I here? One night after a performance and being surrounded by a circle of admirers tears poured from my eyes. I felt empty. Is this all I have to look forward to? Is this what I am busting my behind working for? I called a cab and never looked back. It was one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. I went home and threw myself on the floor crying. I experienced a life changing reawakening and return to my faith and values. The values and faith that have always sustained me. The
values and faith that filled my emptiness with purpose and meaning. I rose from the floor tears of joy, laughing and singing, gratitude and a renewed spirit.
I am grateful for every day I awaken. I am grateful to have awaken this morning and to have made it this far. I give thanks to my ancestors for their sacrifices, those souls whose shoulders I stand on. I thank God for my health, divine protection, wisdom, guidance, continued creative spirit, gifts and affirmation of my purpose daily.
My hope and gift to everyone reading this is an abundance of blessings in all needed areas of your life. Healing where needed, whether emotional, spiritual and physical. Health, peace, joy, justice, happiness, love and victories in desired and worked for endeavors and goals. If having faith your creators granted mercies. The knowledge and understanding of your purpose for being. A respect for time. The seeking and fulfilling of your purpose if not knowing. The courage to pull away from distractions and to face each challenge and to pursue your dreams. A love and appreciation for self. Knowing you are more than enough and have always been.
I hope you focus on what is important in life. I am not here to dictate to you.
I can only share what I discovered along my journey. For me, it is not fame, money nor material wealth that sustains, gives me hope, joy and feels the
deepest areas of my soul. I prefer things of the spirit. My faith, love of self and true value residing in genuine loving relationships. Seeking otherwise might proof to be a fools’ journey.
©Lorraine Currelley 2021. All Rights Reserved.
